Saturday, August 11, 2012
Today officially marks the end to this summer’s blogging adventures courtesy of Julia M. Kahky. To make today’s post a little different than the beginning of yesterday’s post, I’m not really going to talk much about the incredible fact that it’s over. Instead I’m going to begin by quickly going over my day. I went to the Amway with Joshua and got some school supplies and a little snack. Then I got ready for Girls’ Night In and attended that. It was pretty fun but definitely a long time to spend at the school. I’m so happy to be going to the Ritz Carlton tomorrow after today’s lengthy adventure at school. I still need to finish my college resume and this blog before school starts. I really am not in the mood to get all of this work done. Plus I have to email my political science professor, organize my backpacks, write an article for J Post, and go over the presentations Ze’ev sent me so I can prepare for my advocacy this year.
Now I can move on to the more important things that you probably are concerned with much more than my day and all the things I have to do before Tuesday. I don’t know that I can necessarily write a single reflection about the summer. It seems like my blog has been a daily example of that. If I were to talk about the summer as a whole, I would just say that it was the most incredible two and a half months of my entire life. I don’t know that all of the great things that have ever happened to me combined would be able to compare to all the wonderful things I was fortunate enough to experience this summer.
It was definitely a summer of growth and beginning to discover and define myself. I talk about how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve discovered, but in that process, I know found myself only more confused about who I am and what I want. I feel like I don’t really know anything anymore. At first it was the scariest thought, knowing that all the plans I’d had for myself and all the things I thought I knew about myself could be wrong or misguided. Now that I can sit back and think about who I was and who I am, it’s kind of exciting.
Instead of being terrified about the unknown future, I can look into the future (whether it be tomorrow, next year, or ten years) and have absolutely no idea whatsoever about what to expect. I don’t even anticipate what I’m going to have for breakfast tomorrow (I used to be fully conscious of that). It’s frightening, but that’s what makes it all so exciting. I don’t know. It’s so great to say. I feel like I’ve never allowed myself the freedom to just not know. There are so many different paths I see my life taking.
I know I’m definitely going to need some guidance this year, but I think going to Yale and then Israel was the first step in the right direction. The two events were, in a way, my first real form of guidance. It was a lot more egocentric than I would necessarily like guidance and assistance to be, but nonetheless, I feel like I’ve been turned in the right direction. Instead of assuming the way my life would turn out and having it all mapped out, a new chart has been laid out for me, awaiting the first ink stain.
I’m looking forward to this year as well as dreading it. I feel more distanced from my school friends because I wasn’t able to keep in contact with them, and I feel more connected to the amazing people I met this summer. I know that I am just as close with a lot of my school friends as I was before I left (maybe even closer?), but in the back of my mind, I still have a few concerns. On the other hand, I can’t wait to be a senior and enjoy all the incredible privileges we receive this year. At 7:45 on Tuesday I will be utilizing my first privilege by parking in the senior section of the parking lot. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s nice to always have a parking space guaranteed no matter how late you come to school. And it’s surprisingly closer to the campus than one would expect. The walk to your car seems dramatically shorter at the end of the day, especially in Florida’s summer. It’ll be scary and exciting to be a senior. I’m not quite sure whether I want the year to go quickly or slowly. I want to stay home and be a dependent forever, but I am so ready to move on and be with adults.
Blogging this summer has been a unique experience, but I would not say that it has been a pleasure throughout the whole time. There were many occasions where the last thing I wanted to do was sit at the computer and type about my day and my thoughts. A majority of the time I was so exhausted that I just wanted to go to sleep and write later or the next day. I am proud that I was able to encourage myself to sit down at the computer (when I had access to one) and type up the day’s recollections.
Looking back, I am so glad that I decided to start this blog because now I can remember not only the events of my summer, but the feelings I had toward each adventure. I can look back and remember how excited I was when I found out my SAT scores or got back my first college exam. I can remember my frustration when I got my first political science paper back. I’m so happy that I’ll be able to relive all these memories ten, twenty, fifty years from now and compare thoughts and viewpoints. It’ll be interesting to see how my opinion towards certain things changes or stays the same over the years.
Despite the annoying hassle blogging sometimes became, I know it will be beneficial to my readers and me. It will help me analyze myself and help others get to know me. When I go off to college, my peers won’t necessarily understand what has helped me develop into the person I am today and tomorrow, but my blog will act as a portal, allowing new and old acquaintances access to who I am and why I am the way I am. It will also be a treat to go back and read the first few posts and compare them to the last few posts. I wonder how much my style of writing has changed and how much the context of the posts altered.
Blogging has helped me appreciate my fellow bloggers that much more, especially the ones who make the effort to post every day. Writing your thoughts isn’t always easy, especially when you’ve had millions of thoughts and can’t remember which ones are important or which ones were from that day. I appreciate people’s writing as well as my own writing much more than I did before. I’ve always been an avid writer and have been compensated for some of my works, but never before have I realized the truly artistic nature of writing and literature. I’ve always loved reading, writing, books, essays, but blogging has helped me to appreciate language in a whole new way. I wish I could retake the AP English exam and demonstrate how beautiful I think this form of expression truly is. I’m so glad that I decided to take on this mammoth of an assignment this summer.
I don’t really know what I’m going to do from here with respect to my writing, but that’s kind of the fun of it. Again, I love not knowing what’s going to happen next. I might start another blog that doesn’t require my writing every day; I may just start to read other blogs. I may never want to pick up a pen and paper again for fear that it will soil this effort or for sheer exhaustion from this assignment. I hope I will be able in the future to attempt such an incredible and important task as this blog. I want to be able to change the world through language and literature, and I know that this blog was a great first step in doing so.
Please do donate to the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk for a Cure at The3Day.org and search for Julia Kahky. I still need a few donations in order to participate in the walk. It’s for a really great cause that means a lot to me and my mother, a survivor of breast cancer. We’ve been working hard all year to raise the funds and would really appreciate any form of donation. Thanks also for staying loyal followers and readers of my blog. It truly has been a gift.
Sayonara